


The Lullabies of Poe's Two Loves

by sunlightsmarrow



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Cuddling, Cute, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Post-Movie, poe's relationship with his x-wing, teeth-rotting fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 16:52:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5548046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunlightsmarrow/pseuds/sunlightsmarrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe wanted to say that what he felt for Finn was rational and platonic, but as the comatose days wore on, hope was harder to cling to.  A change in Finn's status eases his mind and brings about a change that Poe never knew he longed for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lullabies of Poe's Two Loves

If Poe Dameron had his way, he would have glued himself to Finn’s bedside, never leaving until his was the first face he saw when he woke up, because Finn’s was the last in his mind before he went to sleep and first when he woke up.

It wasn’t as if it were justified. Poe had been patient when he was teaching him how to shoot in a TIE fighter. He was merely glad that the man had survived the crash when they met again back at the base. He had told Leia all about him, to the point where she sent him knowing looks whenever he brought up his name.

When Finn had come to the base, battered, broken, and comatose, Poe had followed his stretcher half-way back to the medical bay before stopping himself. He barely had time to get out of his flight gear when he was called to see what had happened in the command room. 

Finn filled his mind for the remainder of the week, but as the time wore on and he felt less and less likely to walk by Finn’s room, his mind moved to other things. Finn wasn’t waking up, and there was only so much staring he could to at the window that led to Finn’s room before he realized that no amount of his will would influence when his friend would wake up.

~~~

Poe was having a sleepless night, his mind restless as the events of the last month haunted him. Finn had saved all of their lives, and yet he still hadn’t woken up. At this point, the doctors said that he probably wouldn’t make it. They had patched up his spine, but some things couldn’t be helped. He remembered waking up after the TIE fighter crash with the feeling of dread that the man who helped him escape was dead, or the feeling when they saw each other again, firm relief as he stopped mid-sentence and noticed the jacket, and again the fear that gripped him as a lifeless body was taken from the Falcon.

It was as if Finn had come back with force, dominating his mind once again. It had been quite some time since feeling had erupted in his chest, tightening his throat and bringing a blush to his delicate cheekbones. And suddenly, Finn was there, lying with his eyes closed and a heart monitor making sure he was still alive, Poe's subconscious mind leading him to the medical bay to keep watch over his friend. A solitary pale light shone on him, and Poe didn’t have the clearance to go in there, but he took the time to stare.

“They say you might not make it,” said Poe as if he were having a conversation with Finn. “But I want you to know that if you do, I want to teach you how to fly. You don’t have to fight, because the Maker knows you’ve done enough of that for all of us, but I want you to see the skies with me. What adventures we could have.”

Poe stood staring for some time before moving out into the night. It was cool against his face and there was a soft drizzle that clung to his thick wavy hair. He didn’t have to look to find his X-Wing, but there she was, waiting for him. He ran his hand against her cool metal outer shell and climbed up into her, settling into the leather chair, pulling the lid shut. He left the harness off, but she came to life under him. He overrode her automated controls and put her back to sleep. He just wanted to be here, to feel her in his hands, the way his seat was imprinted and his controls were worn to his touch, shiny sections of buttons where his fingers had worn the finish off. She was a second skin to him, as part of him as his lungs were to his breathing, and he could fly her with little coaxing. She was an extension of his consciousness, a consciousness that was slipping, for he had done this before. He had gone to her when he was restless and the softness of his chair and she rocked him to sleep as a mother with a babe. The pittering of rain on his cockpit’s windows lulled him to a gentle rest. 

~~~

Leia herself found him the next morning, neck sore and back aching from sleeping upright. The sharp rap on the window startled him and the sun sparkled through the glass, blinding him briefly. He roused himself, shaking off sleep and popped the lid of his X-Wing open. He climbed down with the same grace that he did everything else, not cocky, but confident, feet always sure and head quick to catch up with what was happening for General Organa herself to come and rouse him. 

“Poe, I think there’s something you ought to see.” She led him out of the sun and back into base and Poe had walked it enough to know exactly where she was leading him. His heart pounded in his chest and he nearly ran ahead to see. It had been so long since there were any developments--and he heard his name. He heard the blessed voice calling his name and the pilot broke into a dead sprint. 

“Finn!” He called his name and finally, they saw each other down the hall. Both stopped dead in their tracks, gazing at one another. Finn could have looked worse, even though he was pretty bad already. The posture was not quite what it used to be, but the broad shoulders were confident and there was a regalness in his eyes, and experience that wasn’t there when he had rescued Poe. The fear was gone in Finn’s eyes and the fluttering in Poe’s chest and the clenching of his throat propelled him forward, purposeful strides leading him down the hallway. 

They met and their embrace was long an thorough, just them holding each other and breathing in the scent of one another as they buried their faces in each other’s necks, just muttering each other’s names as people looked on, watching a platonic reunion. 

“Yours was the first name on his lips,” said Leia, finally catching up to the two men. The separated and their eyes locked, but sobriety was on Finn’s face and Poe’s smile could have powered the base if they’d let him.

“He needs some food and more medical attention now that he’s awake. We’ll be monitoring him, but he should be able to move into his quarters this afternoon.” Leia stood between them and Poe nodded, only half-hearing what she was saying. His friend was alive. He was well, and Poe was the first one he looked for when he woke up. Nothing could ruin the feeling in his very soul of pure joy.

~~~

That night, Poe sat out on the ladder that climbed to his X-Wing. It was comparatively a warm night and he was dressed in his sleep clothe: flannel pants and a tee-shirt. He was comfortable with a drink in his hand and staring at the stars. They seemed to dance in the black sky more than usual, as if they celebrated Finn’s return. Poe was feeling warm from his drink, the fourth of the night, and he let his eyes fall closed, getting to the point where his movements were fast and he felt the most graceful.

The soft hiss of doors opening snapped him to attention and he leaned up from the ladder to see who it was, though he had a feeling he knew. And sure enough, the broad form of Finn was walking toward him, nearly timid in the starlight. Poe clambered down from the ladder and walked up to his friend, slinging his arm around his shoulders and pulling him close, mouth pressing to his ear.

“It’s good to have you back, buddy.”

“It’s good to be back, Poe.” The tenderness in Finn’s voice made Poe’s stomach do flips, and he finished his drink and set the bottle down on a crate, forgotten now that Finn was there, warm and comforting. It was as if everything was right, now. Poe had his X-Wing and he had his Finn and everything was as it should be. 

“I’ll be honest with you,” he said, squeezing a shoulder, “I talked to you. The night before you woke up, I said I’d teach you to fly if you ever came to. Now, I can fly anything and probably be okay with it not entirely sober, but let’s say we’ll just work on this tomorrow because I don’t want you stalling out. Can’t have you getting hurt on my account.”

“I don’t know if I want to fight, Poe. It’s not really my--”

“But don’t you want to see the stars with me? Look, there’s Jakku, see? Not a star, I know, but there’s whole planets that I’ve never been to and I want to see them with you.” Too obvious, said the rational part of Poe’s brain. You’re telling him too much and you didn’t even know that you wanted to press forward and claim those lips but you do and now that you know it, you’re a dead man.

“I’ve had enough adventuring for a lifetime.” Finn sounded old and Poe hated that he wanted to counter it, but he knew that the alcohol in his bloodstream would make him regret it and so he managed to keep his mouth shut.

“I haven’t.” Poe sat down on the ground, stretching his legs out in front of him and staring up at the sky, wonder on his face. “You know, I think I was born to fly. I mean, you have people who train you in flying and you can learn to do these amazing maneuvers but really, flying’s in my heart. It’s part of me sure as this finger is a part of my hand. And I think you appreciate that, Finn, which is why I think I like you.” He really needed to shut up, but Finn was sitting down next to him and looking at him intently and oh, no, this was not going to end well at all.

“It’s late,” said Finn, a hand resting safely on Poe’s knee. “I’ll walk you back.” He helped Poe stand, which wasn’t needed, thank you very much, and together they passed through the doors and started back to Poe’s room. Poe could have walked it with a blindfold, but his balance was a little off sometimes and so Finn had to hold him steady, especially when they ran into others who were lurking in the hallways. 

“I don’t usually--”

“No, I know. It’s been a rough few weeks.”

Poe stopped moving and was staring at the floor. They had reached his room just then, so it didn’t seem entirely uncommon, but the silence and the stillness pulled at Finn’s chest. Poe’s eyes were watery and oh, no, not tears. They fell from his dark lashes and a trembling lower lip moved Finn to fish around in Poe’s pockets to find his key to unlock his door and press them inside together. Poe wiped his hands with his face and took a shaky breath while Finn fetched him some water. 

“Listen, I know I’m a bit tipsy and I know that you’re under surveillance right now but can you...would they be okay if you stayed the night? I'm restless, Finn, and my ‘Wing has been the only thing that can really put me to sleep, even though I haven’t said I made a habit of it but I need another body.”

Finn was touching him, pressing him back and pulling back the covers of his bed. The warm hand on Poe’s chest was comforting in itself, and as they moved together and Finn climbed under the sheets with him, Poe felt warm lips press to his head. They were insistent and urging him to rest, but a wave of sobriety surged through him, compelling him to speak.

“Hey,” he said, catching Finn’s attention. They were together and it was unsaid that Finn would leave as soon as Poe fell asleep, but he was there and there were feelings and Poe wasn’t one to hide much of anything, no matter how hard he tried. So when Finn looked at him, Poe’s eyes fell down to his lips and he kissed him, gentle and innocent and full of appreciation. There wasn’t lust, for that would come later, and there wasn’t desire, but compassion and a form of love that neither of them quite understood yet.

“Thank you,” said Poe as Finn pulled away. Snuggling in closer, Finn wrapped his arms around Poe and hummed a tune, a sort of lullaby to help him drift off into a dreamland where Poe was always flying and going on an adventure to a strange, new land. 

~~~

When Poe Dameron woke, Finn still had his arms around him, fast asleep with a peace on his face that the pilot had never seen before, and it was at that moment that Poe knew they would be together as friends or lovers until the end of their days.


End file.
